day nineteen #aedm2010

 

Yes, well, I suppose I need to explain the word and the picture. As you know, I have been fairly low and sick and worn out the past few days. And in my sick/low/wornout haze, I let Beatrice pick movies to watch. Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland is currently free On-Demand, and she has been begging to see it. We do love Tim Burton movies, though we skipped Coraline, to be honest, it looked a bit scary. Anyway, I wasn't sure Alice was appropriate for a three year old. Beatrice loved it. She didn't find one part scary, according to her, and besides, it is made up. Did you know that? She informed me quite a few times when I asked her if it was too scary. Beatrice is quite brave when it comes to movies and especially enjoys movies about young women/girls who battle things. We also love movies with real people in them v. animation. Anyway, I am pretty sure we have watched it, uh, four times since Wednesday. What? Don't look at me like that. I was sick and my husband worked a twenty-four hour shift yesterday, so we curled up on blankets and watched the movie while we needlefelted. Yes, I let her needlefelt too with close supervision. Stop looking at me like that. ANYWAY, yes, so this movie is such a cool adaptation of the original story of Alice in Wonderland. Alice is brave and kind and mindful. That my daughter connects with this image of women makes me proud. Anyway, there is a line in the movie. The Mad Hatter says to Alice: 'You're not the same as you were before You were much more..."muchier" You've lost your "muchness"'

Yeah, the past few days, I lost my muchness. My NaNoWriMo mojo was flailing, my paintings were filled self-doubt and lowness. I needed to be muchier. Watching Alice, though, kind of helped me build my muchness back up a bit. One thing that I did the past few days was talk to a my husband and my ex-husband, oddly, about my novel, talking through the plot and main points. Wow that helped a great deal, and I kind of feel more settled on the plot of the novel. While lying in bed the other night, I had one of those epic breakthroughs that feels like walking into another dimension, or falling down the rabbit hole. All of this was besides writing though, because sitting in front of the computer, I just surfed the internet, made stupid status updates and all together avoided work. Anyway, I think I am ready to face Jabberwockies in the novel today, and crank out four thousand words to catch up. Oy, vey, that is intimidating. Still, no time like the time it is now to start. My painting in any case, is me as a disheveled Alice with a long sword to battle Jabberwocky and Bandersnatches. My sleep-deprived husband is home and can mind the children while I crank out words. I only have eleven days to finish this novel and much of my muchness has returned.  Yesterday I was almost Angie and today, I am muchier.