jizo

I've been sketching for the three foot by four foot painting for the five exhibit in January. Initially, I wanted to do my She's not an Angel painting huge like that, but then I thought I wanted to do something completely different. I sketched this one of myself holding groceries with the words don't cry, because basically that is how every trip to the market was for the first four months after she died.

Then I decided, absolutely decided that I wanted to do a jizo. A different kind of jizo, something that represents jizo to me, rather than in a meditation painting. I wanted the duality of jizo--that he is portrayed happy though he is a bodhisattva of compassion, so he has a grief too.

I decided on the one with the leaning pillar of rocks, each one sort of representing a child that died, and one joyful jizo and the other looking down and sad, out of respect. This one looks mad, but the one on the canvas doesn't.